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Perplexing Challenges in Couples Therapy

Lies, Infidelity, Unrelenting Hostility, and Self-Absorption <br>9 CE credits Available

July 7 - 9, 2017

Friday - Sunday, 2 nights

$325 Tuition

Plus 2 nights all-inclusive accommodations priced separately

Registration Closed

Program Description

9 CE Hours Available

Enhance your skills for navigating some of the toughest problems encountered with couples in therapy.

Join the founders of The Couples Institute, Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, for an interactive weekend workshop to learn their Developmental Model of Couples Therapy for working with particularly difficult and challenging couples. Ellyn and Peter will dissect, dismantle, and reveal elegant approaches that will build your confidence and make your work easier, more enjoyable, and successful.

Using video demonstration, clinical transcripts, and role-play, they will show you step-by-step how to have significant impact with couples’ patterns, especially hostility and blaming, the crisis of infidelity, the confrontation of lies and deception, and the self-absorbed partner.

In this comprehensive weekend—especially for marriage therapists, psychologists, social workers, counselors, mediators, and coaches—you will learn how to:

  • Identify steps to manage the intense emotionality of couples in the first session after infidelity is revealed
  • Formulate skillful confrontations of lies and deception
  • Discuss ways to help clients transform self-absorbed behavior into compassion for their spouse
  • Create motivation for change

Expect to take away innovative and practical new approaches you can begin to use immediately.

You will return to your practice with skills for untangling the web of deception, moving self-absorbed partners from greed to giving, and shifting hostility in early sessions so your clients can create and sustain enduring change.

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  • Faculty Bio
    Ellyn Bader, PhD

    Cofounder of The Couples Institute

    Ellyn Bader and her husband Peter Pearson are the founders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. For the past 30 years, the institute has been helping couples resolve issues and create strong, loving relationships.

    Ellyn and Peter are unusual among couples‰ therapists in that they are a couple themselves, and have confronted many of the challenges that they write and speak about. As a team, they use a practical therapeutic approach to help couples overcome difficulties and evolve together. Also experts in couples‰ therapy training, Ellyn and Peter are the creators of the Developmental Model of Couples‰ Therapy, which is taught in many graduate programs.

    The authors of two books, Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage and In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy, they have been featured on more than 50 radio and television programs, including The Today Show and CBS This Morning. They have presented workshops throughout the United States, as well as in Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia.

    View Bio Page
    Peter Pearson, PhD

    Cofounder of The Couples Institute

    Peter Pearson and his wife Ellyn Bader are the founders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. For the past 30 years, the institute has been helping couples resolve issues and create strong, loving relationships.

    Ellyn and Peter are unusual among couples‰ therapists in that they are a couple themselves, and have confronted many of the challenges that they write and speak about. As a team, they use a practical therapeutic approach to help couples overcome difficulties and evolve together. Also experts in couples‰ therapy training, Ellyn and Peter are the creators of the Developmental Model of Couples‰ Therapy, which is taught in many graduate programs.

    The authors of two books, Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage and In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy, they have been featured on more than 50 radio and television programs, including The Today Show and CBS This Morning. They have presented workshops throughout the United States, as well as in Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia.

    View Bio Page
  • Why Attend
    • Integrate attachment theory, differentiation theory, and neuroscience with tough couples

    • Intervene incisively to support the developmental growth of each partner.

    • Increase your confidence by developing your ability to assess and address complex patterns in couples’ behavior.

    • Reignite your enthusiasm for your therapy practice by expanding your skills and knowledge of what couples need in order to overcome difficult relationship struggles.

  • Things to Know/Schedule

    Program Schedule

    Friday July 7th

    7:30 PM-9:30PM: Rethinking initial sessions with difficult partners to dramatically increase motivation for collaboration and change.

    Learn the steps involved in a collaborative first interview with a hostile blaming couple. Turn initial anger and defensiveness into cooperation. Hear them describe goals that stretch each of them while taking the pressure off you to “make something happen.”

    Saturday July 8th 

    6:30 AM-7:45 AM: Yoga and Meditation classes
    7:00 AM-8:30 AM: Breakfast

    8:30 AM- 9:00AM: Free time

    9:00 AM-10:30AM: Lies and deception. Everybody lies and many partners deceive themselves and each other. Some lies are loving and harmless. But, others are enormously destructive. Couples’ patterns of deception often begin innocently but end up destroying the love they once had.  Self- deception, conflict avoidance and felony lies all undermine commitment and connection.

    Learn to unpack these tangled, emotionally loaded situations and evaluate the types of lies.

    10:30 AM – 10:45 AM: Break 

    10:45 AM-12:15 PM: Video Demonstration: The Crisis of Infidelity: We will describe the 3 stages of therapeutic work required to repair marriages in the aftermath of infidelity.

    Using videotape segments of a 1st session we will demonstrate how to manage the urgency and despair presented to therapists after an affair is revealed. 

    12:15PM-1:30PM: Lunch 

    1:30 PM-3:30 PM: Self-Absorbed Partners. Self-absorption is a common, yet thorny problem for couples therapists. Narcissism interferes with empathy between partners and results in unresolved repair. Pete and Ellyn will focus on how to reach and motivate the self-absorbed partner to greater levels of attunement.

     Sunday July 9th
    6:30 AM-7:45 AM: Yoga and Meditation classes
    7:00 AM-8:30 AM: Breakfast
    8:30 AM- 9:00AM: Free time

    9:00 AM-11:00 AM: Confrontation Skills: Self- deception, conflict avoidance and felony lies all inhibit intrapsychic and interpersonal growth. Learn to unpack these tangled, emotionally loaded situations and develop incisive confrontation skills to untangle patterns that inhibit differentiation.

    Prerequisites

    None required.

    Experience Level

    Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses. All levels.

    CEs Available

    CEs Available

    This course has been approved for 9 CE hours for qualified participants. To learn how and where to apply, click HERE.

    Cancellations and Refunds
    If You Cancel

    • If you cancel 14 or more days prior to your arrival date, payments made will be refunded in full (less a $50 processing fee).
    • If you cancel between 13 days and 1 day prior to your arrival date, a nonrefundable credit (less a $50 processing fee) will be held for one year from the date of issue.
    • No credit or refund is available if you cancel on your arrival day, if you do not show up, or if you leave a program or event early.

    No refund will be available if you attend a program and are dissatisfied with its presentation or content.

    If 1440 Multiversity Cancels

    On rare occasions, due to unforeseen circumstances, 1440 Multiversity may need to cancel a program. Should this circumstance arise, you will receive a full refund.

     

    For questions or concerns, please email [email protected], Programming Department.

     

    Special Interest To

    Marriage therapists, psychologists, social workers, counselors, mediators, and coaches

  • About 1440 Multiversity

    Beautifully nestled in the California redwoods near Santa Cruz, our 75-acre campus is within easy reach of San Francisco and Silicon Valley.

    1440 Multiversity is a place to spend time engaging some of life’s most meaningful personal questions and to enjoy, restore, and reenergize yourself as you do it.

    You’ll find new energy through immersion learning—setting aside daily urgencies and dedicating uninterrupted time to focus on important, but often elusive, priorities. Our unique collaboration with world-class faculty coupled with an original, inspirational curriculum and magnificent grounds make this a place like no other. Add in fresh, redwood-scented air, delicious and healthy food, deep reflection, fun exercise, and good sleep and you’ve pretty much captured what you’ll experience here.

  • Accommodations

    At 1440 Multiversity, you’ll find a wide range of accommodations to meet your preferences and budget. All of our rooms have been thoughtfully designed to provide comfort, promote reflection, and foster connection with others.

    Accommodation rates include more than just the bed you sleep in.

    Per-person per-night rates include:

    • nourishing locally sourced, seasonal meals
    • daily meditation and yoga classes
    • non-ticketed evening events
    • use of all facilities, including the Fitness Center, steam rooms, and infinity-edge hot tub.

    Guests also enjoy access to woodland trails, cafés, and shops.

    View Accommodations
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