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The Art of Transformation in Couples Therapy

Overcoming Hostility, Lies, Infidelity and Deception

June 29 - July 1, 2018

Friday - Sunday, 2 nights

9 CE Credits Available

$325 Tuition

Plus 2 nights all-inclusive accommodations priced separately

Register Now

Program Description

Untangling the web of deception, creating accountability, and shifting hostility are all crucial for helping conflicted couples grow and change. Enhance your skills for navigating some of the toughest problems encountered in couples therapy with the founders of The Couples Institute, Ellyn Bader, PhD, and Peter Pearson, PhD.

You will benefit from their 30 years of specialized experience working with couples and learn their Developmental Model of Couples Therapy for working with particularly difficult and challenging couples.

Through video demonstrations, clinical transcripts, and role-play exercises, this comprehensive weekend workshop will empower your practice with:

  • Identify steps to help manage the intense emotionality of couples in the first session after infidelity is revealed
  • Formulate skillful confrontations of lies and deception
  • Discuss ways to help clients transform self-absorbed behavior into greater compassion
  • Create motivation for change.

Therapists will also learn effective ways to dissect, dismantle, and rebuild entrenched negative patterns and move self-absorbed partners from greed to giving; skillful methods to help couples transform hostility and anger, manage the crisis of infidelity, and confront lies and deception; innovative, practical techniques and exercises that you can begin to use immediately to help clients deepen their connection and take their relationships to a new level of balance, harmony, and fulfillment; and elegant approaches to create significant shifts in early sessions and make your couples work easier, more enjoyable, and successful.

Ignite your enthusiasm for your therapy practice by expanding your skills and knowledge of what couples need in order to overcome difficult relationship struggles.

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  • Faculty Bio
    Ellyn Bader, PhD

    Cofounder of The Couples Institute

    Ellyn Bader and her husband Peter Pearson are the founders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. For the past 30 years, the institute has been helping couples resolve issues and create strong, loving relationships.

    Ellyn and Peter are unusual among couples‰ therapists in that they are a couple themselves, and have confronted many of the challenges that they write and speak about. As a team, they use a practical therapeutic approach to help couples overcome difficulties and evolve together. Also experts in couples‰ therapy training, Ellyn and Peter are the creators of the Developmental Model of Couples‰ Therapy, which is taught in many graduate programs.

    The authors of two books, Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage and In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy, they have been featured on more than 50 radio and television programs, including The Today Show and CBS This Morning. They have presented workshops throughout the United States, as well as in Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia.

    View Bio Page
    Peter Pearson, PhD

    Cofounder of The Couples Institute

    Peter Pearson and his wife Ellyn Bader are the founders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. For the past 30 years, the institute has been helping couples resolve issues and create strong, loving relationships.

    Ellyn and Peter are unusual among couples‰ therapists in that they are a couple themselves, and have confronted many of the challenges that they write and speak about. As a team, they use a practical therapeutic approach to help couples overcome difficulties and evolve together. Also experts in couples‰ therapy training, Ellyn and Peter are the creators of the Developmental Model of Couples‰ Therapy, which is taught in many graduate programs.

    The authors of two books, Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage and In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy, they have been featured on more than 50 radio and television programs, including The Today Show and CBS This Morning. They have presented workshops throughout the United States, as well as in Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia.

    View Bio Page
  • Why Attend
    • Increase your confidence by developing your ability to assess and address complex patterns in couples’ behavior.

    • Intervene incisively to support the developmental growth of each partner.

    • Integrate attachment theory, differentiation theory, and neuroscience in working with tough couples.

  • Things to Know

    Program Schedule

    Friday, June 29th

    7:30 pm – 9:30 pm: Rethinking initial sessions with difficult partners to dramatically increase motivation for collaboration and change.

    Learn the steps involved in a collaborative first interview with a hostile blaming couple. Turn initial anger and defensiveness into cooperation. Hear them describe goals that stretch each of them while taking the pressure off you to “make something happen.”

     

    Saturday, June 30th
    9:00 am – 10:30 pm: Lies and Deception

    Everybody lies and many partners deceive themselves and each other. Some lies are loving and harmless. But, others are enormously destructive. Couples’ patterns of deception often begin innocently but end up destroying the love they once had.  Self- deception, conflict avoidance and felony lies all undermine commitment and connection.

    Learn to unpack these tangled, emotionally loaded situations and evaluate the types of lies. 

     

    10:30 am – 10:45 am: Break

     

    10:45 am – 12:15 pm: Video Demonstration: The Crisis of Infidelity 

    We will describe the 3 stages of therapeutic work required to repair marriages in the aftermath of infidelity. Using videotape segments of a 1st session we will demonstrate how to manage the urgency and despair presented to therapists after an affair is revealed.

     

     12:15P pm -1:30 pm: Lunch

     

    1:30 pm – 3:30 pm: Self-Absorbed Partners

    Self-absorption is a common, yet thorny problem for couple’s therapists. Narcissism interferes with empathy between partners and results in unresolved repair. Pete and Ellyn will focus on how to reach and motivate the self-absorbed partner to greater levels of attunement. 

    Sunday, July 9th 
    9:00 am – 11:00 am: Confrontation Skills
    Self- deception, conflict avoidance and felony lies all inhibit intrapsychic and interpersonal growth. Learn to unpack these tangled, emotionally loaded situations and develop incisive confrontation skills to untangle patterns that inhibit differentiation. 

     

    Prerequisites

    None required.

    Experience Level

    None required.

    Special Interest To

    Marriage therapists, psychologists, social workers, counselors, mediators, and coaches

    CE Credits

    CE Credits Available

    This course has been approved for 9 CE hours for qualified participants. To learn how and where to apply, click HERE.

    Cancellations and Refunds
    If You Cancel

    • If you cancel 14 or more days prior to your arrival date, payments made will be refunded in full (less a $50 processing fee).
    • If you cancel between 13 days and 1 day prior to your arrival date, a nonrefundable credit (less a $50 processing fee) will be held for one year from the date of issue.
    • No credit or refund is available if you cancel on your arrival day, if you do not show up, or if you leave a program or event early.
    • No refund will be available if you attend a program and are dissatisfied with its presentation or content.
  • About 1440 Multiversity

    Beautifully nestled in the California redwoods near Santa Cruz, our 75-acre campus is within easy reach of San Francisco and Silicon Valley.

    1440 Multiversity is a place to spend time engaging some of life’s most meaningful personal questions and to enjoy, restore, and reenergize yourself as you do it.

    You’ll find new energy through immersion learning—setting aside daily urgencies and dedicating uninterrupted time to focus on important, but often elusive, priorities. Our unique collaboration with world-class faculty coupled with an original, inspirational curriculum and magnificent grounds make this a place like no other. Add in fresh, redwood-scented air, delicious and healthy food, deep reflection, fun exercise, and good sleep and you’ve pretty much captured what you’ll experience here.

  • Accommodations

    At 1440 Multiversity, you’ll find a wide range of accommodations to meet your preferences and budget. All of our rooms have been thoughtfully designed to provide comfort, promote reflection, and foster connection with others.

    Accommodation rates include more than just the bed you sleep in.

    Per-person per-night rates include:

    • nourishing locally sourced, seasonal meals
    • daily meditation and yoga classes
    • non-ticketed evening events
    • use of all facilities, including the Fitness Center, steam rooms, and infinity-edge hot tub.

    Guests also enjoy access to woodland trails, cafés, and shops.

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